Reflections in the River

"Wake up Jesus! Don't you know we are about to drown." Mark 4:35

2010-12-18T11:44:00.000-08:00

The waves were breaking over the stern of the boat, I had never seen a storm so angry nor a sea so bent on destroying my life. I was lost to everything but the moment, survival was all that was on my mind and each breaking wave seemed to bring me closer to spiritual, mental and physical meltdown. Where was Jesus? I thought he was here beside me. There were times I leaned on the oars and looked into the bleak gray cloudy rain driven sky and cried out, "Hey Jesus, remember me, I thought you liked me, where are you?"

That was how I felt this past year. Even though I had many powerful dreams and prophetic words spoken over my life I felt like the enemy was winning. I felt like a failure and that I had somehow missed what God had promised through his prophets. Have you ever felt that way yourself? That somehow you missed the very purpose and destiny that God had spoken to you during this present move of God.

Especially during these past 6 months I cried and repented and exhausted myself in self examination. I stopped my car more than once and leaned forward peering up into the sky and said, "Hey Jesus, do you even like me any more?" Yes I said that and sadly more than once. But it seemed Jesus, like in the story in Mark woke from his rest and came forward and rebuked the wind and waves in my life. The forces that were overtaking me slacked off and I was once again able to understand a very important principle.

I like many others throughout history had gotten so captivated in the process of getting to my destination that I came to believe that the vehicle I was in that was transporting me, in my mind, had become the destination. And it was not! It was only the vehicle not the prophetic word, the dream or the promised call on my life. No matter how glamorous it was or not so glamorous at times, it was the vehicle not the promise.

Once the realization came over me I began to see the shoreline of my promise and I started remembering the dreams and words once again. As I did the shore began to take shape and the purposes of God began to emerge. Is that where a lot of us have been these past few years? I felt like the Israelite people in the desert walking from one sand dune to the other forgetting the promises of God, only seeing the next sand hill in front of me. The enemy throwing everything at me, discouragement over missed opportunities and what seemed like all out spiritual failures. I got so caught up in the journey that I felt it somehow had become the promise and it was just the vehicle that was taking me to the next thing. There were times when the excitement of the journey, the un-expectant manna, the water out of the rock and the supernatural physical presence of God led me to believe that this was the fulfillment as well, but it was not the promises of God spoken over my life. Whichever extreme was before me, whether good or not so good I had forgotten what had been promised me.

If you were like me I want you to know that where you are is probably not your destination it is only the vehicle that is getting you to the other side where your fulfillment lies. What is exciting is that we will live like this over and over again. That is right, you probably will only get to spend a season in that land of destiny and promise. Then the words will start to come and the dreams are released and once again you find yourself on the boat crossing over. Hopefully we will learn to be more like Jesus and just fall asleep till we arrive on the shore of our destination not to be awakened by the waves of adversity and the winds of doubt.

I am a nameless and faceless person touched by God and journeying toward a promise. On the way I see the fulfillment of prophetic dreams and words spoken over my life. Many are not recognizable until they are fulfilled and then it makes perfect sense. I got caught up in a journey that I had come to believe was a dream come true and Jesus showed me it was the boat that was taken me to the shore of my destiny. I thank God for the boat ride, it was truly a refining ‘character building’ wild ride.

In the old west there was a saying, "He is one to ride the river with." It means that they have the grit or staying power to be there when the going gets tough. It is easy to stay on the mountaintop in the midst of the fulfillment of revelation but there is not much time for character building. Mostly character building comes on the ride over. I forgot that, next time I hope to lay down on the cushion beside Jesus and spend more time curled next to him enjoying his presence and less time manning the oars. Remember when people would say, "When are they going to get up off of the floor and start doing something?" Well, not until it is time, my friends, not until it is time.

The Father's Blessing

2010-12-18T11:38:00.000-08:00

I sat on the second step leading up to the platform so I could see into the eyes of the six girls who stood before me. Their little hands were out in front of them, palms up, and they were completely surrendered to God. Tears were streaming down their faces as their bodies shook under the power of the Holy Spirit.

I could feel wave after wave of the Holy Spirit come from behind me, sweep over me and into them. For close to 40 minutes these girls, ages 7 through 10 were the objects of God's great love and mercy. Each was immersed in God and in all that time of watching them it was like they were oblivious to anyone or anything else but were caught up in something very special.

Around them probably a 100 people were scattered over the floor in various positions. Some were shaking or trembling as others laughed and rolled from side to side. Others laid quietly as if they heard nothing of what was happening around them, a blanket of peace had been laid over them and the rest of the Lord was upon them.

This was the third meeting we were having here at Faith Alive and though there was one more to come this one was special for I was able to watch six little girls as they experienced the power and presence of God. The next day Pastor Brent told us as he tucked one of his little girls in that night after the meeting that his daughter said to him, "Daddy this has been one of the best days of my life." Pastor Brent, with the emotion of a father so excited that his girls had gotten to experience something so precious told us how both of his daughters didn't want to leave the meeting that night and wanted to know as we went into the back room to sit and talk and eat some pizza if they could just go back into the sanctuary and just lay on the floor for a while longer and be with God.

During those four meetings at Faith Alive Family Church many people were physically, emotionally and spiritually healed. I suppose if we sat and wrote the full story of all that transpired during those nights that it would fill a small book. But that happens allot when the God of the universe shows up and walks amongst his children and touches them. On one special night I got to watch as six little girls experienced something very precious. That was worth the journey.

Rex & Lois ministering at Faith Alive Family Church in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada.

Insights into living under the anointing.

2003-01-01T18:23:00.000-08:00

Since 1995 I have had the privilege of living in an incredible experience of God's manifest presence. We were so powerfully touched by God at that time we litterly shook under the anointing for months and months. Visions and dreams along with amazing opportunities to pray for people came to us one right after the other filling our lives with a bounty of experiences. We were and still are very much living with a 'book of Acts' experience. Later when many were experiencing a decrease in experiences the Lord gave us the privilege of traveling with Randy Clark and Global Awakening propelling us around the world. For three years it became a daily experience to pray for many people living in an anointing that very few people get to experience on a daily basis. Now that Lois and I are out on our own ministering we have continually felt the river of His presence in our lives.

Because of this I wanted to share with you some insights into living under the anointing while fighting to have a personal relationship with our Father. I really want you to realize that there is a difference in being in a continual anointing while ministering and being in personal relationship. They are really two different things altogether. When you operate in your gifting God puts an anointing on His work that He is doing through you. That anointing is not a substitute for a relationship with the Father. There is a similarity between the two, both can be a physical experience that can be felt but that is as close as they come in comparison.

When I was touched so powerfully in May of 1995 two things happened to me. One was that I received a personal revelation of the Father's love for me. I did fall in love with Him all over again to tell you the truth it may have been that I saw Him for the first time because I cannot remember ever loving Him so much. It was truly a restoration of my 'first love'. The second thing that occurred was an incredible anointing came on the gifting that God had so blessed me with during the first 14 years of my walk with Him. It seemed like I was raised from grade 3 to college level prayer when it came time to praying for the sick. The depth of revelation in dreams and visions also increased as if I passed from looking through a glass darkly to seeing with incredible clarity. From that day forward I enjoyed an incredible feeling of swimming in liquid love every time I ministered in His name.

Sadly though, as I think many of us do, we find the anointing of gifting easier to maintain than the anointing that comes from friendship. After all isn't it the same? The answer is really quite simple. No it isn't the same. The cries from those standing off to the side saying, "When are you going to get up off the floor and do something?" really did mess with our heads. After all isn't this what we were waiting for all along? To go and heal the sick, raise the dead and do the 'stuff' as John Wimber used to say. When the 72 came back an exclaimed about the anointing they were under Jesus put it in perspective when he said; "Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are in heaven!" Luke 10:17-20

Probably the easiest way of saying it is this way, even if you had the anointing of a gifted story teller as TD Jakes or the anointed prophetic gifting of a Cindy Jacobs or the blessing of being know as one who fans the flames of revival like Randy Clark it still comes down to the basics, can you climb into the lap of the one who loves you, look into His eyes and find your perfect rest. It doesn't really matter if you are used greatly or not, falling into love and abiding continually in that love is what is great neglecting your love is heartbreaking.

I have heard it exclaimed from those around the world who are used mightily by God that they are dry and in need of another infilling from God. Why is it that we are so surprised when we hear them say this? From the greatest to the smallest the challenge has always been the same, God chooses intimacy over ministry every time. That is why Jesus said to the people in Matthew 7:23 concerning those who chose anointing over relationship, (And do you know what I am going to say? "You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don't impress me one bit. You're out of here.') (The Message)

There is an yearning in our hearts for 'papa' to hold us. My desire and my prayer are as one, God if you should ever visit me powerfully again I will choose you over all else. Intimacy and relationship first and foremost, love for my wife which is pure and honoring comes out of intimacy with my Father, followed by love for my children. Then Lord may I not forget to minister to those you send me to and not to think that the ministry should be put before all else. Help me to keep it in perspective otherwise I will choose the anointing of doing the 'stuff' for God over the anointing of being with my God.

If I never do another thing may I be know as one who loves the Lord my God with all his heart, soul and mind.

Daddy I love you so much.

Rex